Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Wear Sunscreen

My parting gift to you, over the Thanksgiving holiday.

This piece was presented as Kurt Vonnegut's commencement address at MIT in 1997. It's great stuff, but apparently it wasn't written or delivered by Vonnegut. It's still a beautiful piece...

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97:

Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

A Review: The Twilight Series

I just finished, well, started and finished, the Twilight series over the weekend. I've been sick, so I've had some extra time on my hands.

As a literature minor, I'd been curious about the books I'd heard were "well written." I wanted to read them to see what the big deal was.

Starting the books, I was initially annoyed. The melodramatic character of Bella Swan is a whiny (irritatingly so), obsessive, dark, misunderstood misfit, or so she feels. But, as I continued the first book, I got attached to its brilliance. Stephanie Meyer captures the emotions, passion, fear and romance for her primary audience of romantically inexperienced preteen and teenage girls. She creates an overwhelming dichotomy of passionate love and perfect friendship with the characters of Edward Cullen and Jacob Black.

In the end, I would never call the series a literary masterpiece. However, its brilliance to entrap the hearts of girls everywhere is undeniable. Even as I was reading it, I felt myself believing in what Edward and Bella have, despite knowing how unrealistic their relationship is, outside of the whole vampire thing.

Deep down, every girl wants an "Edward"--a man who is incredibly passionate, who believes and shares with her that he would die without her. She wants a love relationship where the spark never dies, where every kiss is more intense than the last and where the chemistry tears through her insides. And, she wants a man who longs for her to be with him at all times, who misses her intensely when they are apart, who protects her in every situation and who knows without a doubt that she is his soulmate.

And then, there's real life. Real life--where sparks die, kissing becomes habitual and the chemistry fades. But, for Meyer's primary audience, real life and love are unknown. And that is why Meyer is brilliant in her writing. She takes something that is unknown (love) and unrealistic (vampires) and meshes them in a way that, because the love part seems like it could be the realistic, the vampire part doesn't seem so far off. Obviously, few people actually believe in vampires, but Meyer's story leaves the love part wide open. Over the four books, the love between Edward and Bella is unstoppable, compared to Romeo and Juliet (New Moon) and Catherine and Heathcliff from "Wuthering Heights" (Eclipse), and undeniably deep.

However, the relationship between Edward and Bella is potentially dangerous to young minds as it gives women the idea that the Edward/Bella relationship is real. Even as I was reading the book, I felt a longing for something like that...something I know does not exist. And, as I have the knowledge and experience to know that my marriage is incredibly deep and encompasses more of the aforementioned passions than many, it is a little frightening to think of the expectations that a young, romantically inexperienced woman may pull from this series.

And that is why this series is irresistible. The action is never-ending, giving the books an urgency. The love story is timeless, capturing the hearts and minds of its female readers. And, though Breaking Dawn does fall a little short in comparison to the first three books, the final book is destined to be the lesser as Bella's transformation from vampire to human will ultimately be tragic unless it is even more far fetched. Then again, we are talking about vampires...

Overall, I'd give the series a "read." After doubting it for months, it surprised and pleased me far more than I'd expected.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

When It Rains

You know that saying, "when it rains, it pours"?

Monday night, I found out that the dog I grew up with is not doing so well. My mom didn't think he'd make it through the night. I cried. A lot.

First thing Tuesday morning, my car nearly gets hit while backing out of my parking spot because some idiot was flying through the parking lot. She had the audacity to honk at ME and make me pull back into the spot so she could continue speeding by. Thank God I didn't get hit!

Tuesday afternoon, I deal with a pain-in-the-butt coworker who I simply can't handle. One of those argue-for-the-sake-of-it people trying to give me more work and make my life harder. Because, you know, it's not like I have a 600-page book to publish in three weeks, or anything. Gah.

Oh, and my boss scolded me for talking to a coworker, in front of my entire floor. Super.

Tuesday evening, I found out my childhood dog is being put down Wednesday night at 5:30 p.m. In my distraught state, I put a thermos of coffee in my purse. When I put my purse down, the cup spills over, filling my Coach bag and drowning my iPhone.

Today, my father-in-law is going in for tests as he has been rediagnosed with cancer. We are praying the xrays show it is not lung or bone. Although we're all trying not to worry, it's a little overwhelming since we know it could be serious.

It's not that I want a pity party; I just want this week to be over so I can spend the weekend in bed recovering. I know that God says he won't give us more than we can handle, and I know I can handle this (other than it putting me in a bad mood), but does it have to be everything at once?

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Tuesday Ten: The Lumberjack

1. He is the most well-rounded person I know. On Wednesday night, he's usually watching Ultimate Fighter, and by Friday, he'll be taking me out to a five-star restaurant and the theater! He's a man's man with a sweet center--the perfect combination.

2. While his favorite breed of dog is a German Shepard, he absolutely LOVES our little corgi. I've never seen him be such a softie as he is with that dog.

3. His favorite band OF.ALL.TIME. is Metallica. I'm pretty sure he owns every CD, and listens to them all regularly.

4. He is almost 100% Dutch, and proud of it. His favorite cheese is smoked gouda (big surprise), and he loves hopjes, Dutch licorice and all other sorts of Dutch delicacies.

5. His favorite cake is cinnamon pull-apart (monkey bread) and his favorite dessert is creme brulee.

6. His hair is naturally and permanently bleached with a faint "C" on the back of his head. I tease that's God's sign of claiming him for me.

7. He loves beer. Stone is his favorite. But he also loves bourbon and cigars. At heart, he's kind of an old man, and I love it.

8. His favorite sport is football, by far. He supports the San Diego Chargers until the end. I get a little nervous every time we watch football together because he's so passionate about it.

9. He has expensive taste. With clothing, and food, and just about everything. Awesome, because I never have to explain why a $100 pair of black heels is better than a $10 pair.

10. One of the first things that stood out to me about him was that he is passionate. He doesn't half-ass things, ever. If he does something, he believes in it and is passionate about it, and I love that about him.